Hello Q2!
Did your year begin full of promise, hope, and, perhaps, anxiety around, “Can I really reach that goal?”
The beginning of the year is full of resolutions and vision boards all the rage, there can be a tendency to over-reach. Over-commit. And be downright impractical.
Don’t get me wrong. I think goals are great. What I worry about is the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. And, for you perfectionists out there, this practice can be downright scary.
I recently listened to the Hidden Brain episode “How to Believe in Yourself” featuring Adam Grant. During the episode, Grant discusses three problems with perfectionism. All three resonate, and I’d like to show how they can relate to communication goals.
- We hyper-focus. This looks like obsessing about tiny details and not seeing the whole picture. You can likely relate to this when you plan presentations. It’s so easy to go down a rabbit hole and fret over charts, fonts, aesthetics, the list goes on. The fix? Set your objective, identify 3 key messages, and then build your presentation. This keeps the critical information at the forefront, which is way more important than finding the perfect shade of blue.
- We narrow our growth. Grant explains our fear of mistakes means we play it safe, don’t take risks, and stay in our comfort zone. I know this one resonates! The fix? Make a communication goal, then divide it into baby steps. For example, “Speaking up during meetings” can turn into, “At the team meeting, I’ll plan to ask a question.” Maybe next week, you’ll ask two. Adjusting standards and breaking things down into an easily ticked list keeps one proverbial communication foot in front of the other. In this case, baby steps beget confidence, mistakes and all.
- We are master ruminators. Yep, we likely recognize this one, too. Any perfectionist who has presented knows that rumination flares up before and after presentations. The fix? Let your brain puzzle on something else, like a crossword or a quick round of Sudoku. Or list out the birthdays of childhood friends. Keeping the brain busy but not so contemplative that you’re stuck in monkey mind mode leaves a little space to fear the upcoming presentation or obsess about any perceived mistakes you made in the last one.
The struggle with perfectionism is real, but as Grant points out, “Beating yourself up doesn’t make you better. It leaves you bruised.”
I hope these strategies might be helpful, and as always, if you have one to share, I’d love to hear about it!
