More than ever, we’re seeing heated debates online, whether it’s between elected officials on television or within the comment section of a news article.
Widespread use of social media (and its trusty keyboard warriors) have exacerbated this issue.
It’s as if, collectively, we’ve forgotten how to engage in peaceful discourse.
Heightened emotions and differing opinions translate easily to a high-stakes meeting – and even low-stakes conversations.
So, what’s a speaker to do when emotions run strong?
- Listen closely
You know those times when a person is speaking, and you’re planning out your rebuttal? Don’t do that. In order for the other person to feel heard, take a deep breath and settle into your seat. Disengage any clenched muscles – your jaw, your fingers gripping your pen. Watch the face of the person speaking, and absorb what they have to say. - Get curious
Instead of jumping to get a word in, try using this simple phrase: “Tell me more.” World Debate Champion Julia Dhar explains the benefit of choosing “curiosity over clash.” Can the speaker provide more context to a story? Can they offer more description for their project? Let’s face it, leaning in with interest is never a bad idea and, done skillfully, can create connection. - Be adaptable
So it’s your turn to speak, and you can tell by the looks on your listeners’ faces, they’re not picking up what you’re putting down. Why? You went in with a fixed plan. Stay on your toes by recognizing opinions may vary. “We need to figure out how we go into conversations not looking for the victory, but the progress,” says Dhar. You can handily do this by identifying some common ground, or what Dhar explains is “shared reality.”
Finally, stay tuned for more tips on how to become a more effective speaker. If you can’t wait until the next newsletter, you can get find plenty of tips on LinkedIn, too!
Until then,
