Does conflict make you queasy? You’re not alone. Even after 20 years in the communication field, I still feel uneasy when I need to set boundaries, deliver bad news, or offer constructive feedback.
Many of my clients feel the same. One leader I work with, let’s call him Jamie, recently wrestled with how to tell senior leadership that he couldn’t take on a high-profile new role: leading the company’s AI transformation team.
He was honored to be asked, but knew it wasn’t the right move for the company or for him. So how did he navigate this conversation with grace?
We worked through three key strategies:
Stand in Their Shoes
Before you speak, pause and ask: What do they need to hear? What’s their perspective?
When you lead with empathy, your message is more likely to be received—and respected. Tough conversations, when handled well, can deepen trust.
Jamie knew he needed to emphasize the exciting potential of AI, rather than solely on turning them down.
Focus on the Why and the Impact
Be clear about why you’re sharing the message and how it connects to a larger goal.
Jamie explained that the product team urgently needed his full attention, and that if he split his focus, both initiatives would suffer.
Propose a Path Forward
Don’t leave someone sitting in limbo. Offer next steps, options, or support, even if you don’t have all the answers.
Jamie suggested forming a cross-functional committee to lead the AI effort. This distributed responsibilities and brought in diverse perspectives to benefit the initiative.
Most of all, don’t delay. Waiting doesn’t make it easier—it just stretches out the discomfort (for everyone). Trust me, worrying, ruminating, and delaying rarely improves the outcome.
Hard conversations are a part of leadership, growth, and connection. The good news? With practice, you will become more effective and they’ll get (at least a little bit) easier.
