2026 is less than 100 days away. For some, that’s cause for celebration. (A clean slate! A chance to turn the page on political and social chaos!)
For others—especially those with still-lingering 2025 resolutions—it might feel like a ticking clock of shame. Before you beat yourself up for not running a marathon or not chiming in at every meeting, let’s talk about the myth of willpower.
In a recent Hidden Brain episode, Emily Falk, author of What We Value: The Neuroscience of Choice & Change, explained how our brains actually make decisions. As any doomscroller or cookie-grabber knows, we’re wired to prefer immediate rewards—willpower be damned. Dr. Falk notes that many of our choices are shaped by “invisible forces” like our value system, our sense of identity, and our social circles.
The good news? There are better strategies to navigate these “invisible forces.” Here are three:
1. Reframe Your Self-view: The reframe isn’t about the behavior. It’s about the story you tell yourself. Instead of “I’m someone who never speaks in meetings,” try “I’m someone who shares ideas because I care.” You already do this with friends, family, or hobbies, so carry that identity into work. Once we see ourselves as the kind of person who speaks up, the behavior follows.
2. Audit Your Surroundings: Look around. Are the people you admire modeling the behavior you want? If not, it might be time to… expand your circle (kidding, not kidding). We’re social creatures, and we mirror what we see. If your environment normalizes the habit you want—whether it’s speaking up, exercising, or setting boundaries—you’re more likely to do it, too.
3. Reward Yourself: Pair the tough behavior with a treat. Speak up in meetings while sipping a pumpkin-spiced latte and rocking your favorite shoes. Or give yourself a post-event reward. Carrots work when combined with a reframed identity and a supportive environment.
Want to know how I reward myself? Recording and watching my own talks may be the single best way to improve communication skills. Yes, it’s as cringey as it sounds—for me too. So I need some help. I bribe myself to watch my recordings by Friday and reward the effort with a Tajín-and-salt-rimmed margarita. Pain, meet payoff.
As you navigate your reframe, your community audit, and your reward system, remember to be kind to yourself. Our brains are expert at spotlighting shortcomings and terrible at celebrating wins. So, take stock of what you have accomplished, not just what’s left undone.
